How to avoid akward Christmas family questions about your girlfriend and still get laid

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY CHRISTMAS GIRLFRIEND

Are you one of the lucky guys who can strut into Christmas party with your girlfriend? Not everyone has that kind of luck during the holidays. Some of us will spend Christmas and New Year’s sad and alone. I’ve thought of just borrowing a friend to pretend she was my girlfriend so my family would get off my back with their stupid questions: “Have you found someone? Are you still alone? When are you gonna give us grand children?” Leave me alone!

DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YET?

That fateful moment when you realize that this is the question that will be on everyone’s lips at Christmas.
You’ve had some girlfriends but for some god forsaken reason they’re never around for the holidays. Or maybe you don’t want to bring your fuck friend home to meet your parents.
Imagine this scenario, “Hi nice to meet you! Are you his new girlfriend?” “Umm no…we’re only into casual sex” That would be enough to give your grandmother a heart attack! So you are stuck in and endless loop of girlfriend related questions: “Why haven’t you found one yet? What are you waiting for? Maybe you need to change? What’s wrong with you?”

THE SOLUTION TO THE GIRLFRIEND PROBLEM

None of your friends want to play temporary girlfriend? Who cares? ? All you need are a few Photoshop skills and you’re on your way to a Merry Christmas. No need to answer questions, no expensive gifts to buy – nothing can beat my solution to all your girlfriend problems.
We all know we would rather fuck whomever we want rather than live through the monotony of monogamy. Forget finding a girlfriend to make your family happy and keep your bed full of sluts.

YES I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BUT SHE IS OUT OF TOWN WITH HER FAMILY

Yes, you will have to lie. No going around it. So put your poker face on and practice your speech in the mirror. "Yeah I have a girlfriend, we met online a few weeks ago. She is amazing. I see her bearing my children. We met a few times and it was electric, unfortunately she had to leave town to spend Christmas with her family. I’m sad but I’m comforted by the fact that I’m not alone anymore."
That should get them off your back for the holidays. Now grab a computer, download the pictures I‘ve prepared for you, add your face, print them out stick them in your wallet and voila.
I’ve created a Family friendly picture set and of course an “I want to impress my friends” picture set. I’ve created these for you because I know how crappy it is to have to spend Christmas alone with everyone reminding you of how crap-tacular your life is.


It's time you take the matter into your own hands and show everyone that you can and are a great catch. No one will question you after seeing you with a cute blond. All you have to do is flash your pics in their face and keep complaining that you miss her and that you can't wait to see her again. Spend the holidays in a great way without all the family fuss and of course your friends will be excited to see your newest conquest.

Cheers to all of you. May you set forth and spread your seed during this season of ugly aunt kisses, boring family reunions, horrible Xmas music and old Uncle Bob’s dirty jokes. Merry Christmas, have fun and don’t forget to show off your new Christmas girlfriend!