How to avoid akward Christmas family questions about your girlfriend and still get laid

HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY CHRISTMAS GIRLFRIEND

Are you one of the lucky guys who can strut into Christmas party with your girlfriend? Not everyone has that kind of luck during the holidays. Some of us will spend Christmas and New Year’s sad and alone. I’ve thought of just borrowing a friend to pretend she was my girlfriend so my family would get off my back with their stupid questions: “Have you found someone? Are you still alone? When are you gonna give us grand children?” Leave me alone!

DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YET?

That fateful moment when you realize that this is the question that will be on everyone’s lips at Christmas.
You’ve had some girlfriends but for some god forsaken reason they’re never around for the holidays. Or maybe you don’t want to bring your fuck friend home to meet your parents.
Imagine this scenario, “Hi nice to meet you! Are you his new girlfriend?” “Umm no…we’re only into casual sex” That would be enough to give your grandmother a heart attack! So you are stuck in and endless loop of girlfriend related questions: “Why haven’t you found one yet? What are you waiting for? Maybe you need to change? What’s wrong with you?”

THE SOLUTION TO THE GIRLFRIEND PROBLEM

None of your friends want to play temporary girlfriend? Who cares? ? All you need are a few Photoshop skills and you’re on your way to a Merry Christmas. No need to answer questions, no expensive gifts to buy – nothing can beat my solution to all your girlfriend problems.
We all know we would rather fuck whomever we want rather than live through the monotony of monogamy. Forget finding a girlfriend to make your family happy and keep your bed full of sluts.

YES I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BUT SHE IS OUT OF TOWN WITH HER FAMILY

Yes, you will have to lie. No going around it. So put your poker face on and practice your speech in the mirror. "Yeah I have a girlfriend, we met online a few weeks ago. She is amazing. I see her bearing my children. We met a few times and it was electric, unfortunately she had to leave town to spend Christmas with her family. I’m sad but I’m comforted by the fact that I’m not alone anymore."
That should get them off your back for the holidays. Now grab a computer, download the pictures I‘ve prepared for you, add your face, print them out stick them in your wallet and voila.
I’ve created a Family friendly picture set and of course an “I want to impress my friends” picture set. I’ve created these for you because I know how crappy it is to have to spend Christmas alone with everyone reminding you of how crap-tacular your life is.


It's time you take the matter into your own hands and show everyone that you can and are a great catch. No one will question you after seeing you with a cute blond. All you have to do is flash your pics in their face and keep complaining that you miss her and that you can't wait to see her again. Spend the holidays in a great way without all the family fuss and of course your friends will be excited to see your newest conquest.

Cheers to all of you. May you set forth and spread your seed during this season of ugly aunt kisses, boring family reunions, horrible Xmas music and old Uncle Bob’s dirty jokes. Merry Christmas, have fun and don’t forget to show off your new Christmas girlfriend!

CHRISTMAS PORN

Christmas is around the corner and who says Christmas says Christmas porn. Oh yeah, girls with antlers and guys with elf shoes really turn me on! Haven’t you ever had any Christmas fantasies? Haven’t you ever seen yourself fucking Mrs. Clause from behind? Don’t you want to jingle your bells on her oh so jolly ass? Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, I won’t tell Santa and you'll still get your Christmas present under your naughty tree!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS

I really love Christmas with a passion. I love the continuous smell of gingerbread cookies, the white lights in every tree and the awesome ambiance that floats around everywhere I go. Everyone is in a good mood and the porn is fantastic. The little red hats on dicks and heads and jingle bells everywhere you go! I usually search for mistletoes everywhere hoping to steal a kiss from the person under it. Imagine stranger’s faces in stores when I grab them and plant a huge wet kiss on their lips. I really wish I could kiss more than their lips sometimes but that might get their wife jealous and since its Christmas I don’t want to kill the mood. It’s too bad because they could probably learn a little from my kissing skills.

NAUGHTY CHRISTMAS PARTY

Every year I keep hoping someone will invite me to one of their parties. I’m not talking about those boring family gatherings; I’m talking about the naughty, drink till you fuck Christmas party. Kind of like the one you end up having at work where the eggnog filled secretary will blow the boss in his office while his wife is in the storage room getting banged by the cute delivery boy. You know the ones where everyone comes back to work a few days later with their heads between their legs hoping everyone else forgot what happened at the party. I desperately want to be invited this year. I really need a good office bang. Fun times!

SEXY SANTA

There is something really exciting about Santa Claus. Oh yeah, I’ll sit on Santa’s knees anytime he wants me to and he can jingle my bells all he wants. Ok, we all know it’s not about the presents or the reindeer. Maybe it’s the fact that he wears that beard so well. Or maybe it’s just imagining what he could do with my juicy tight pussy when he wiggles his cute little red nose. If he can go around the world in one night than he can definitely do a number on me in 24 hours. Fuck the presents, anyways I’ve been a real bad girl and I’m probably on the naughty list. I bet Santa is a naughty boy just like all the others. He’s a man, he has needs too and I bet Mrs. Claus won’t do the half of what I could do. Maybe Santa should see other people, including me.

To all you naughty people on Christmas I want to wish you all happy holidays and don’t forget to tape your hot office amateur Christmas porn because here’s a girl just aching to be a part of it! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good fuck!