Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts

Monday, April 22, 2013

10 Pickup Lines that Will Get you Laid

How to approach women and get noticed

It’s so important to meet women as often as you can. Some people wait for the opportunities to fall into their laps, and even then they are too shy to act on it. How many times have you been in line at a grocery store, doing your laundry or reading at the library when a very interesting girl catches your eye? And what happens when that woman, who is naturally drawn to you asks you a question? Most guys freeze up because they are completely unprepared, or they get freaked out because it’s been too long, or because of some other excuse.


Don’t miss out on another opportunity to talk to a girl.Dating is somewhat of a numbers game. The more you try, the better your chances at finding the right one. That’s where these pickup lines come in handy. Now please, don’t view these as your typical one liners. These are more like conversation starters. The idea is to get the girl to respond positively and hopefully stick around long enough to give you her BBM pin or add you to her contacts.


get laid guarenteed with these awesome pick up lines

1. “Hi there! I have to tell you, that is a beautiful bracelet. I’d love to get one like it for my date tomorrow night.” Once she tells you where she got it, ask her to be your date. She’ll be flattered that you appreciate her great taste and it’s a bonus that you’re also interested in her.


2. “Who is your dentist? You have the most beautiful smile.” This is a great compliment to show her you appreciate a woman who takes care of her teeth and also that you like her smile. Listen to her answer and keep eye contact to keep the conversation going.
3. “Can I use your pen? I’d really like to get your number.” If suddenly her pen stops working, improvise! Save her number in your cell phone or memorize it if you have to. You can write it down later when you get the chance.


4. “Hi, nice to see you! You’re so pretty – you look like my next girlfriend.” If she has a sense of humour, she’ll get a kick out of this one. Keep going with a compliment. Tell her what attracted you to go over and speak to her. Girls respond to honesty and humour.


5. “Do you think I can get your number, when you have a minute?” This lets her know that you don’t want to intrude on her time. She’s probably busy, but let her know that you’ll wait for her if you have to. Tell her that you couldn’t let this great opportunity pass.
pick up lines call me

6. “I’ve never seen anyone like you before. Where do you come from?” This one works really well on women who are exotic looking. Tell her how different she looks and how refreshing it is to see her. She will love hearing that you notice her and appreciate that she is unique.


7. “I see you like milk. I know an Italian place that makes the best Alfredo sauce that I would love to take you to – When are you free?” This one’s a bit long, so make sure that you pause to get her reactions before you rattle the whole thing off. She will be impressed that you want to set a date sometime soon and will already start considering your offer.


got milk

8. “I can’t believe I didn’t see you until now. Let me make it up to you over coffee later today?” This line is perfect if you see a girl who looks busy and is about to disappear from your life. She will be intrigued by what you have to say, so make sure that you tell her why you two had to meet.


9. “You have the most incredible hair. What do you say to showing it off while dancing with me tonight?” She’ll be happy about the compliment, but make sure that you keep the conversation going. Ask her about her favourite music and clubs in the area, and then bring focus back to your date.


10. “Sweetheart, do you think you could take a chance on me? I feel so lucky to have met you.” This one works great for the girl that believe in chance and destiny. If she smiles or gives you any type of encouragement, remember to follow up with an offer to spend time together, like going for a walk, going to an art gallery, catching the local pee-wee baseball game, or any other fun activity you had in mind.


Stick to these lines and feel free to improvise and have fun! Just make sure that you don’t wait too long to get around to asking her out. She will see that you’re not very serious if you don’t propose a date. Become a date magnet and don’t let any girl slip through your fingers again.

Friday, December 21, 2012

How to avoid akward Christmas family questions about your girlfriend and still get laid


HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY CHRISTMAS GIRLFRIEND

Are you one of the lucky guys who can strut into Christmas party with your girlfriend? Not everyone has that kind of luck during the holidays. Some of us will spend Christmas and New Year’s sad and alone. I’ve thought of just borrowing a friend to pretend she was my girlfriend so my family would get off my back with their stupid questions: “Have you found someone? Are you still alone? When are you gonna give us grand children?” Leave me alone!

DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YET?

That fateful moment when you realize that this is the question that will be on everyone’s lips at Christmas.
You’ve had some girlfriends but for some god forsaken reason they’re never around for the holidays. Or maybe you don’t want to bring your fuck friend home to meet your parents.
Imagine this scenario, “Hi nice to meet you! Are you his new girlfriend?” “Umm no…we’re only into casual sex” That would be enough to give your grandmother a heart attack! So you are stuck in and endless loop of girlfriend related questions: “Why haven’t you found one yet? What are you waiting for? Maybe you need to change? What’s wrong with you?”

THE SOLUTION TO THE GIRLFRIEND PROBLEM

None of your friends want to play temporary girlfriend? Who cares? ? All you need are a few Photoshop skills and you’re on your way to a Merry Christmas. No need to answer questions, no expensive gifts to buy – nothing can beat my solution to all your girlfriend problems.
We all know we would rather fuck whomever we want rather than live through the monotony of monogamy. Forget finding a girlfriend to make your family happy and keep your bed full of sluts.



YES I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BUT SHE IS OUT OF TOWN WITH HER FAMILY

Yes, you will have to lie. No going around it. So put your poker face on and practice your speech in the mirror. "Yeah I have a girlfriend, we met online a few weeks ago. She is amazing. I see her bearing my children. We met a few times and it was electric, unfortunately she had to leave town to spend Christmas with her family. I’m sad but I’m comforted by the fact that I’m not alone anymore."
That should get them off your back for the holidays. Now grab a computer, download the pictures I‘ve prepared for you, add your face, print them out stick them in your wallet and voila.
I’ve created a Family friendly picture set and of course an “I want to impress my friends” picture set. I’ve created these for you because I know how crappy it is to have to spend Christmas alone with everyone reminding you of how crap-tacular your life is.


It's time you take the matter into your own hands and show everyone that you can and are a great catch. No one will question you after seeing you with a cute blond. All you have to do is flash your pics in their face and keep complaining that you miss her and that you can't wait to see her again. Spend the holidays in a great way without all the family fuss and of course your friends will be excited to see your newest conquest.

Cheers to all of you. May you set forth and spread your seed during this season of ugly aunt kisses, boring family reunions, horrible Xmas music and old Uncle Bob’s dirty jokes. Merry Christmas, have fun and don’t forget to show off your new Christmas girlfriend!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Weirdest, most embarrassing, freaky orgasm faces ever!!

IMPORTANT NOTICE : Please read instructions before use of any orgasm face!
The “Crazy Bitch orgasm” Warning: RUN!

For the full article one the weirdest, most embarrassing, freaky orgasm faces ever please visit share Orgams R Us, another one of my awesome blogs!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

You don’t even have to say please…





You don’t even have to say please…



via Tumblr http://realkellylove.tumblr.com/post/35667222646